Relationship Repair???

I sat this weekend visiting with my dad and watching him play with Ethan and it made me so sad. Sad because he has never nor will he ever have that relationship with my older boys.

Sad also because he will never understand why they don't want a relationship with a man that to them doesn't respect or understand them. See since I had my boys so young in life my dad decided that he should be tough on them to help they grow up properly but by doing this all he did was alienate them.

I have tried over the years to explain to all of them what happened so that forgivness can begin and a relationship start to grow but alas none of them understand the others side. I hope that someday when they mature they will have some type of relationship with him. I know my dad longs for that but the years of him teasing and being tough have taken their toll.

See I have boys who need extra love, attention and lots of hugs not critisim for all their mistakes. They get enough of that from the world. This year for my dad's birthday since the boys are almost adults I left it up to them to call him for his birthday and they both declined.

I tried over the years to tell my dad that the boys need him to play with them, hug them and be papa but he never knew how to relate to this boys from the city who watch TV and play video games. I have tried to point out their achievements over the years and although my dad tells me he is proud he has never told them.

I watch him with my cousins children who are into the things he can relate to (fishing hunting camping) and he is such a diffrerent man. I hope this man will someday appear with my older boys. This is the papa that Ethan has and that is such a joy but bittersweet.

He is an awesome man and all of us who have had the privlege of knowing the real him, the soft loveable him admire and respect him. I remember a few years ago we were at a funeral and my older boys asked why does everyone respect Papa so much. This broke my heart for they never got to see the side that is tough but loveable. They only ever saw the tough unfair side.