This week the call came that we have been waiting years for. My dad's best friend had passed away. Yes he had a wild life and drank too much so we knew his time was up but everytime we had been told this he pulled a rabbit from the hat but not this time.
I thought when I got the call it would be from my dad but nope I got the call to let me know that I had to call and break the news to my dad. How do I tell my dad that his best friend of more then 40 years is gone and we have a viewing to attend.
Then I thought well it won't be so hard his friend Doug had been in a nursing home so the late calls were a thing of the distant past, getting together for a few drinks was also a thing of the past. So with these thoughts I made the call. That was on Monday and he put on a brave front then last night I called to give him the details of the viewing and arrange who was driving and it hit my dad that this time Doug really ran out of time. My dad's response to why we had to go to Uxbridge on Saturday was that we should check the local bars first just in case it was a misprint.
I don't know what is worse the loss of this great man or the heartbreak my dad's going through. Most of my childhood memories include Doug or his family. Yes I've been neglegent in keeping in touch but there was supposed to be time to go visit and reconnect. Saturday will be hard to say goodbye and watch my dad say his goodbyes.
Doug was a sturdy man, always had a joke and a hug for everyone. He worked hard, played hard and drank hard. As a child I never noticed the drinking just was in awe at how much fun he was. Skidooing, sledding in the winter. Bonfires and roasting marshmellows in the summer.
I will go and say my goodbyes but not put away memories and hopefully as time passes the memories will come and I can write them down.
Thursday, January 19, 2012
Friday, January 13, 2012
Parenting in 11 Steps
Found this today on FB and had to share. Its so true
11 Step Program for those thinking of having kids
Lesson 1
1. Go to the grocery store.
2. Arrange to have your salary paid directly to their head office.
3. Go home.
4. Pick up the paper.
5. Read it for the last time.
Lesson 2
Before you finally go ahead and have children, find a couple who already are parents and berate them about their...
1. Methods of discipline.
2. Lack of patience.
3. Appallingly low tolerance levels.
4. Allowing their children to run wild.
5. Suggest ways in which they might improve their child's breastfeeding, sleep habits, toilet training, table manners, and overall behavior.
Enjoy it because it will be the last time in your life you will have all the answers.
Lesson 3
A really good way to discover how the nights might feel...
1. Get home from work and immediately begin walking around the living room from 5PM to 10PM carrying a wet bag weighing approximately 8-12 pounds, with a radio turned to static (or some other obnoxious sound) playing loudly. (Eat cold food with one hand for dinner)
2. At 10PM, put the bag gently down, set the alarm for midnight, and go to sleep.
3. Get up at 12 and walk around the living room again, with the bag, until 1AM.
4. Set the alarm for 3AM.
5. As you can't get back to sleep, get up at 2AM and make a drink and watch an infomercial.
6. Go to bed at 2:45AM.
7. Get up at 3AM when the alarm goes off.
8. Sing songs quietly in the dark until 4AM.
9. Get up. Make breakfast. Get ready for work and go to work (work hard and be productive)
Repeat steps 1-9 each night. Keep this up for 3-5 years. Look cheerful and together.
Lesson 4
Can you stand the mess children make? T o find out...
1. Smear peanut butter onto the sofa and jam onto the curtains.
2. Hide a piece of raw chicken behind the stereo and leave it there all summer.
3. Stick your fingers in the flower bed.
4. Then rub them on the clean walls.
5. Take your favorite book, photo album, etc. Wreck it.
6. Spill milk on your new pillows. Cover the stains with crayons. How does that look?
Lesson 5
Dressing small children is not as easy as it seems.
1. Buy an octopus and a small bag made out of loose mesh.
2. Attempt to put the octopus into the bag so that none of the arms hang out.
Time allowed for this - all morning.
Lesson 6
Forget the BMW and buy a mini-van. And don't think that you can leave it out in the driveway spotless and shining. Family cars don't look like that.
1. Buy a chocolate ice cream cone and put it in the glove compartment.
Leave it there.
2. Get a dime. Stick it in the CD player.
3. Take a family size package of chocolate cookies. Mash them into the back seat. Sprinkle cheerios all over the floor, then smash them with your foot.
4. Run a garden rake along both sides of the car.
Lesson 7
Go to the local grocery store. Take with you the closest thing you can find to a pre-school child. (A full-grown goat is an excellent choice). If you intend to have more than one child, then definitely take more than one goat. Buy your week's groceries without letting the goats out of your sight. Pay for everything the goat eats or destroys. Until you can easily accomplish this, do not even contemplate having children.
Lesson 8
1. Hollow out a melon.
2. Make a small hole in the side.
3. Suspend it from the ceiling and swing it from side to side.
4. Now get a bowl of soggy Cheerios and attempt to spoon them into the swaying melon by pretending to be an airplane.
5. Continue until half the Cheerios are gone.
6. Tip half into your lap. The other half, just throw up in the air.
You are now ready to feed a nine- month-old baby.
Lesson 9
Learn the names of every character from Sesame Street , Barney, Disney, the Teletubbies, and Pokemon. Watch nothing else on TV but PBS, the Disney channel or Noggin for at least five years. (I know, you're thinking What's 'Noggin'?) Exactly the point.
Lesson 10
Make a recording of Fran Drescher saying 'mommy' repeatedly. (Important: no more than a four second delay between each 'mommy'; occasional crescendo to the level of a supersonic jet is required). Play this tape in your car everywhere you go for the next four years. You are now ready to take a long trip with a toddler.
Lesson 11
Start talking to an adult of your choice. Have someone else continually tug on your skirt hem, shirt- sleeve, or elbow while playing the 'mommy' tape made from Lesson 10 above. You are now ready to have a conversation with an adult while there is a child in the room.
This is all very tongue in cheek; anyone who is parent will say 'it's all worth it!' Share it with your friends, both those who do and don't have kids. I guarantee they'll get a chuckle out of it. Remember, a sense of humor is one of the most important things you'll need when you become a parent!
1. Go to the grocery store.
2. Arrange to have your salary paid directly to their head office.
3. Go home.
4. Pick up the paper.
5. Read it for the last time.
Lesson 2
Before you finally go ahead and have children, find a couple who already are parents and berate them about their...
1. Methods of discipline.
2. Lack of patience.
3. Appallingly low tolerance levels.
4. Allowing their children to run wild.
5. Suggest ways in which they might improve their child's breastfeeding, sleep habits, toilet training, table manners, and overall behavior.
Enjoy it because it will be the last time in your life you will have all the answers.
Lesson 3
A really good way to discover how the nights might feel...
1. Get home from work and immediately begin walking around the living room from 5PM to 10PM carrying a wet bag weighing approximately 8-12 pounds, with a radio turned to static (or some other obnoxious sound) playing loudly. (Eat cold food with one hand for dinner)
2. At 10PM, put the bag gently down, set the alarm for midnight, and go to sleep.
3. Get up at 12 and walk around the living room again, with the bag, until 1AM.
4. Set the alarm for 3AM.
5. As you can't get back to sleep, get up at 2AM and make a drink and watch an infomercial.
6. Go to bed at 2:45AM.
7. Get up at 3AM when the alarm goes off.
8. Sing songs quietly in the dark until 4AM.
9. Get up. Make breakfast. Get ready for work and go to work (work hard and be productive)
Repeat steps 1-9 each night. Keep this up for 3-5 years. Look cheerful and together.
Lesson 4
Can you stand the mess children make? T o find out...
1. Smear peanut butter onto the sofa and jam onto the curtains.
2. Hide a piece of raw chicken behind the stereo and leave it there all summer.
3. Stick your fingers in the flower bed.
4. Then rub them on the clean walls.
5. Take your favorite book, photo album, etc. Wreck it.
6. Spill milk on your new pillows. Cover the stains with crayons. How does that look?
Lesson 5
Dressing small children is not as easy as it seems.
1. Buy an octopus and a small bag made out of loose mesh.
2. Attempt to put the octopus into the bag so that none of the arms hang out.
Time allowed for this - all morning.
Lesson 6
Forget the BMW and buy a mini-van. And don't think that you can leave it out in the driveway spotless and shining. Family cars don't look like that.
1. Buy a chocolate ice cream cone and put it in the glove compartment.
Leave it there.
2. Get a dime. Stick it in the CD player.
3. Take a family size package of chocolate cookies. Mash them into the back seat. Sprinkle cheerios all over the floor, then smash them with your foot.
4. Run a garden rake along both sides of the car.
Lesson 7
Go to the local grocery store. Take with you the closest thing you can find to a pre-school child. (A full-grown goat is an excellent choice). If you intend to have more than one child, then definitely take more than one goat. Buy your week's groceries without letting the goats out of your sight. Pay for everything the goat eats or destroys. Until you can easily accomplish this, do not even contemplate having children.
Lesson 8
1. Hollow out a melon.
2. Make a small hole in the side.
3. Suspend it from the ceiling and swing it from side to side.
4. Now get a bowl of soggy Cheerios and attempt to spoon them into the swaying melon by pretending to be an airplane.
5. Continue until half the Cheerios are gone.
6. Tip half into your lap. The other half, just throw up in the air.
You are now ready to feed a nine- month-old baby.
Lesson 9
Learn the names of every character from Sesame Street , Barney, Disney, the Teletubbies, and Pokemon. Watch nothing else on TV but PBS, the Disney channel or Noggin for at least five years. (I know, you're thinking What's 'Noggin'?) Exactly the point.
Lesson 10
Make a recording of Fran Drescher saying 'mommy' repeatedly. (Important: no more than a four second delay between each 'mommy'; occasional crescendo to the level of a supersonic jet is required). Play this tape in your car everywhere you go for the next four years. You are now ready to take a long trip with a toddler.
Lesson 11
Start talking to an adult of your choice. Have someone else continually tug on your skirt hem, shirt- sleeve, or elbow while playing the 'mommy' tape made from Lesson 10 above. You are now ready to have a conversation with an adult while there is a child in the room.
This is all very tongue in cheek; anyone who is parent will say 'it's all worth it!' Share it with your friends, both those who do and don't have kids. I guarantee they'll get a chuckle out of it. Remember, a sense of humor is one of the most important things you'll need when you become a parent!
Tuesday, January 10, 2012
Tv on main floor or not
I am a big believer that TV is way too important this days and when my husband and I bought our current house we didn't install a TV on the main floor so we wouldn't be tempted to watch as much TV. All that did was create a bad habit of us hanging in our room all the time. I look back now and wonder how many moments I missed with my older kids when they came home.
I wonder this because we now have a tv on the main floor and although it is rarely on it has made me spend more time on the main floor and I am now discovering a new relationship with my boys. They come home and I'm hanging out and next thing we are watching a movie together or just getting caught up.
I asked if they would have come and got me to watch the movie and they said no but since I was obviously still up they figured we could hang. This made me think back to my teenage years and how many talks I had with my mom when I came home and this was because she was on the main floor doing her thing.
I can't get back those years I missed but I will make the best of the years to come.
I wonder this because we now have a tv on the main floor and although it is rarely on it has made me spend more time on the main floor and I am now discovering a new relationship with my boys. They come home and I'm hanging out and next thing we are watching a movie together or just getting caught up.
I asked if they would have come and got me to watch the movie and they said no but since I was obviously still up they figured we could hang. This made me think back to my teenage years and how many talks I had with my mom when I came home and this was because she was on the main floor doing her thing.
I can't get back those years I missed but I will make the best of the years to come.
Monday, January 9, 2012
Mothers heartbreak
Anyone that has read my blog knows that my husband and oldest child suffer from depression and makes for an interesting house at times. Well last night my middle child called me to his room at 1 in the morning sobbing his heart out and it turns out he needs counselling because he is having issues in life. I have no problem with this but it breaks my heart to hold my child in the wee hours of the morning and not be able to help or fix. I did tell him that my mother and his father both suffered from mental illness so it is possible that he got the gentics from them or maybe its just a moment thing.
So this will be my road for 2012 and I know the lord will guide me through this but what the hell. I think I have been through the ringer lately and would've liked 2012 to be nicer to me. This is my 20 year old who looks up to me for answers and help. This time I had no answers or help to give him. I will find him a counsellor and walk this road with him. This is part of what I signed up for when I became a mother but damn I wish for the days of them having easy problems to solve. Skinned knees, small problems that McDonalds would cure and when I had all the answers.
So this will be my road for 2012 and I know the lord will guide me through this but what the hell. I think I have been through the ringer lately and would've liked 2012 to be nicer to me. This is my 20 year old who looks up to me for answers and help. This time I had no answers or help to give him. I will find him a counsellor and walk this road with him. This is part of what I signed up for when I became a mother but damn I wish for the days of them having easy problems to solve. Skinned knees, small problems that McDonalds would cure and when I had all the answers.
Sunday, January 8, 2012
Stepping Back
I watched the movie Soul Surfer last night for the second time and again was amazed at what a strong women this young lady was to loose her arm but still achieve her goals and dreams.
The part of the movie that struck me was the line take a step back to get better persepctive on a situation. This will be my motto for 2012 and hopefully that will help me have less drama and a much more successful year.
Success for me would be balancing all the things in my life. All of which I love but sometimes neglect one are for another. Taking a bigger stand when it comes to people walking on me and not letting it happen. Making my home one filled with love, grace and mercy.
The part of the movie that struck me was the line take a step back to get better persepctive on a situation. This will be my motto for 2012 and hopefully that will help me have less drama and a much more successful year.
Success for me would be balancing all the things in my life. All of which I love but sometimes neglect one are for another. Taking a bigger stand when it comes to people walking on me and not letting it happen. Making my home one filled with love, grace and mercy.
Friday, January 6, 2012
Putting Christmas Away
This weekend is my time to put away Christmas. I always get sad when its time to put Christmas away and put my house back together. I feel like I'm boxing up the magic and innocence that comes with Christmas.
This year I have decided to put most of Christmas away. I got an ornament this year that symbolizes magic, innocence and childhood. The Sneetches from Dr Seuss this will be staying out so I can enjoy it all year round.
I am also going to try to find magic and innocence in my everyday life so Christmas won't seem so far away. One way I'm doing this is that I bought skates and will be skating with my youngest child. I'm looking forward to this new adventure.
This year I have decided to put most of Christmas away. I got an ornament this year that symbolizes magic, innocence and childhood. The Sneetches from Dr Seuss this will be staying out so I can enjoy it all year round.
I am also going to try to find magic and innocence in my everyday life so Christmas won't seem so far away. One way I'm doing this is that I bought skates and will be skating with my youngest child. I'm looking forward to this new adventure.
Wednesday, January 4, 2012
New Year new me
Last year I spent finding out who I was and how to be the best mother, friend, daughter, wife and still be me it was a great learning experieince and very empowering.
This year I am taking back my house. This means that my kids will have their space but all common areas need to be kept tidy. We can all work together and keep the house tidy which will help me with cleaning on weekends.
I have also decided that people in my life who bring me down or treat me like door mats are no longer allowed they either shape up or I'm done with them. I deserve to be treated like a valued person not an after thought.
It's been a rough year with my hubby being out of work but I've been able to have some time to step back and reflect and now I realize that we may not have money and have been fighting like crazy but through all of it we have grown closer, learned what our priorites are and best of all the entire family is pitching in with bills and spending more time together.
I guess letting go and letting God be in charge is a good idea not easy but still a good idea.
This year I am taking back my house. This means that my kids will have their space but all common areas need to be kept tidy. We can all work together and keep the house tidy which will help me with cleaning on weekends.
I have also decided that people in my life who bring me down or treat me like door mats are no longer allowed they either shape up or I'm done with them. I deserve to be treated like a valued person not an after thought.
It's been a rough year with my hubby being out of work but I've been able to have some time to step back and reflect and now I realize that we may not have money and have been fighting like crazy but through all of it we have grown closer, learned what our priorites are and best of all the entire family is pitching in with bills and spending more time together.
I guess letting go and letting God be in charge is a good idea not easy but still a good idea.
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