This weekend my husband lost his job again and then we found out he has problems with his hips so any future jobs can't include assembly work. This is a man that is very educated, very smart and very passionate about Social Work but can't find a job in his field so he was doing warehouse work which didn't work out for him.
We have spent all of our savings in the last year since he's been off work and I am not sure how we are going to pay bills and stay afloat without the extra income. I am thankful that my boys pay rent but it doesn't replace my husbands original income from a year ago.
I am not normally an emotional person but this last year is really starting to push me over the edge. I'm not sure how much more I have in me to fight to keep everything together. On top of eveything else this is my depressed time of the year since I miss my mom so much it hurts.
I am leaning on friends, family, church for love and support but I'm really scared of either loosing everything or just loosing my mind and not getting it back. This is a horrible feeling I know the lord has a plan for us but right now I just can't seem to grasp onto that bit of faith.
Wednesday, November 30, 2011
Thursday, November 24, 2011
Been Gone Too Long
Well I have been gone for so long I feel like I have to find my groove again. With my last couple of posts the one thing that I haven't put on here or tried to not dwell on is the tragic accident that my cousin had this summer.
As she and her girls were coming home from a baby shower a guy in a pick up truck fell asleep at the wheel and smashed into their car. My cousins girls in the back seat just 10 and 11 never survived. The driver of the pick up truck died a few weeks later. My cousin and her 17 year old daughter survived but barely. We as a family have been changed permantley and grown stronger and closer. My cousins daughter is home and healing with crutches to get around. My cousin is still in the hospital but hoping to come home in the next two weeks. She is the most amazing women so strong and emotional at once. She knows how to balance the two in a way I couldn't even imagine.
The funeral was so hard. What words do you use to console a mother, father, sister that have lost two angels. My cousin was still on bed rest and in a stretcher for the funerals so she stayed outside on the sidewalk as the rest of us went inside the funeral home to say goodbye to Miki and Alex. Then we wen to the girls school for the funeral it was held in the gym and it was standing room only. I couldn't believe the outpouring of love and support. That love and support has not stopped in the months since. This past weekend there was a fundraiser for the family and again it was standing room only and my cousin was able to attend. It was such a wonderful feeling to see her healing and loving.
I have also had good news two weeks ago my grandson was born and has brought light back into our house. It is still sad and hard to go on but I love coming home on my bad days and holding him. I am very blessed to have such good friends and family.
As she and her girls were coming home from a baby shower a guy in a pick up truck fell asleep at the wheel and smashed into their car. My cousins girls in the back seat just 10 and 11 never survived. The driver of the pick up truck died a few weeks later. My cousin and her 17 year old daughter survived but barely. We as a family have been changed permantley and grown stronger and closer. My cousins daughter is home and healing with crutches to get around. My cousin is still in the hospital but hoping to come home in the next two weeks. She is the most amazing women so strong and emotional at once. She knows how to balance the two in a way I couldn't even imagine.
The funeral was so hard. What words do you use to console a mother, father, sister that have lost two angels. My cousin was still on bed rest and in a stretcher for the funerals so she stayed outside on the sidewalk as the rest of us went inside the funeral home to say goodbye to Miki and Alex. Then we wen to the girls school for the funeral it was held in the gym and it was standing room only. I couldn't believe the outpouring of love and support. That love and support has not stopped in the months since. This past weekend there was a fundraiser for the family and again it was standing room only and my cousin was able to attend. It was such a wonderful feeling to see her healing and loving.
I have also had good news two weeks ago my grandson was born and has brought light back into our house. It is still sad and hard to go on but I love coming home on my bad days and holding him. I am very blessed to have such good friends and family.
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