A and The

It was just pointed out to me that everyone I introduce either has the word a or the in front of their name. The Andrea, The Dean, A Julie, The Corrie, The Barb that kind of thing. I didn't realize this until tonight and it is so true. Their is no rhyme or reason as to if someone gets an A or The.

I think it is interesting that we have these habits we do not even realize until it is pointed out to us. I can't tell you why I started or when but it is a fact and I think it is very interesting.

I wonder now what else I do that I am not even aware of.

Drinking games and not 16

Well last night I decided to bond with my children by playing a game called Ride The Bus this sounded innocent enough for a drinking game. All was fine until their friend showed up and then a war began between him and I and needless to say it did not end well for me.

Not being 16 anymore I apparently have lost the ability to remain on my bed when the spins happen and well next thing I knew I was leaping off the bed because in my condition this seemed like a lovely idea. The only problem was that I could not get back onto the bed so I remained on the floor last night.

I am proud to say that somehow this morning I am awake and not in rough shape but I have a feeling that the rough shape is around the corner and I have a party to host this evening with more drinking.

I have realized that I am not 16 and back to back parties are not a good idea. Oh well lesson learned for this time.

So much too say and so little time

I have so many things I want to blog about but since I only have two followers I don't want to bore you with the same stuff so I decided today instead since I have a short time to write this to tell you a funny story and it is all true.

Yesterday morning my mind and body did not want to go to work. You see they did not tell me this, they just got together and made this decision. So I am driving to work (so I thought) but I missed my turn to the highway no biggie I will go the long but relaxing way. Then as I am driving along the second route I missed the turn to get to work. At this point I am realizing that there are factors at work that have nothing to do with me conciously not wanting to be at work. I finally fooled my mind and body and made it to work.

Then I got to work and of course as it has been for the last few weeks chaos was all around me but my mind decided to get my emotions involved at this point and I was ready to quit for no paticular reason and had the sales manger not stopped me my mind and body would have won. Luckily for me my common sense showed up and stopped all the foolishness. I ended up having a great day and found my way home to a very sucky 5 year old. At this point I gave in to my mind and body and did nothing last night but snuggled and at his insistence that pizza can be ordered and delivered we did just that.

The highlight for him was that I only ordered enough pizza for the two of us and then we ate it in my room while watching tv. I guess it was a well needed rest for my mind and body who were conspiring against me all day.

I hope if this hasn't made you laugh then that it has at least put a smile on your face

Visiting the non existent

Five years ago for no reason given my cousin and his wife disowned myself, husband and children. Ours was always a relationship of him trying to have power and pulling many a guilt trip which I might add did not work. Although he is family and I do love him I must admit I have not missed the battles and other antics.

Today his mother asked me to please come to his 60th birthday. You see it breaks her heart that we no longer speak so she has to have two christmas', two thanksgivings', two birthdays. Well you get the point. I felt horrible a few years ago that he would not show for her birthday. You see I have tried to mend these fences more than once.

I am not sure what is bothering me more the fact that I don't miss him or our relationship or the fact that I am going against all I believe in by going to this party for him. I know it would break my aunt's heart if I do not at least keep trying but I figure when does he have to try. There will never be an explanation given and I also do not think that is fair I am supposed to just move on and start fresh.

Ethan has no idea who this man or his family is and my older boys don't want to know him anymore after what he has done by ignoring us for the last five years.

I guess in just a few short weeks we will see how this goes. I have already told my aunt that I will not stay if there are is any nastiness and that I can only stay for a few hours.

I hope that I am making the right decision.

Praise unexpected

I was reminded tonight that my son and his friends do truly appreciate the little things that I do for them. I don't do any of these for any sort of thanks or praise. I do them because I am able and I love having them in my house.

First tonight I went and picked up food for them they thanked me when I got back and even gave me gas money. Secondly Douglas' friend is moving to Italy in less then two weeks so he asked if he could have a going away party. This would mean me find accomadations for the night for myself, Ethan and my husband. I did this willingly because I can't imagine having my close friend move away. Tongiht Douglas and his friend both came to me and thanked me for making the party possible. They also assured me that they would respect my home and our neighbours.

I don't know what I am happier about the thanks that I got or the fact that they appreciate the little things. I am not going to dwell on which to enjoy I am just going to enjoy this moment and savour it.

Mom layers

I was just sitting here thinking that along with the fact that there is no manual for how to raise children they also don't tell you that motherhood has many layers. Maybe it is because I have such a huge age gap with my boys or the fact that all three are complete opposites of each other but i have had to delve into my layers a lot lateley.

Edward is the oldest and although he is not a bad kid he makes some really dumb decisions and is not very easily motivated. He has goals and dreams and the ability to reach them but zero motivation. So for him I have to be his cheerleader even for little things, I have to be his reason (hope he stops before making dumb decisions), his guardian and for him I need to be psychic so that I can know when I have a sliver of a chance for a deep conversation with him.

Douglas is the middle child and he is so much like me and the wild person I would love to have had the chance to be had I not been a mom so early. For him I am his guard to keep him in line, his sounding board, his nurse when he is too stubborn to listen to his body when he is sick or injured. With him I have also had to learn how to walk the fine line between parent with rules and parent with guidelines since he is so independent. Although he is wild in many ways he is also the responsible one a full time job and dreams of college.

Ethan is my youngest. I thought his brothers were a handful but Ethan can put both of them to shame. He tests my courage, patience, wisdom and confidence daily. He is so busy trying to be big like his brothers that he has some major attitude one minute then the next he is sunggling and telling me he loves me. He also has my husbands rigidness when it comes to routine and I fight routine with ever fibre in my body.

For all three of them I am also their rock, the safe one they can fight with and be horrible to when the world overwhelms them. It has taken me a long time to realize that being dumped on (of course respectfully) is a sign of a good parent. My kids feel safe to tests their limits with me because even if I don't change my mind or give in I will always love them and this will always be there home.

I have also learned to stop and smell the roses in a sense with my boys. The older two rarley tell me that they love me but if I stop and either listen to how they are with their friends or what they tell them about me then I get the praise and reassurance that I got some things right with me.

The other day Edward sent me a text telling me what a wonderful mom I am and that I should not worry about my parenting skills that I have given him all the tools he needs he just has to use them. This will be stored on my phone forever. It is one of those rare yeah moments for a mom with boys on the verge of manhood.

Perfect day

Today started as any normal crazy hectic Saturday in my house but as I prayed and mentally decided that I would savour today no matter what it brought I was amazed at how peaceful and stress free I felt today.

I had the usual bumps in the road my youngest yammering on about the same topic a million times and I completley over booked myself but yet I was able to find time to have breakfast out with my oldest and his girlfriend and have a quick but great visit with my heart sister and her kids. Both of these things I would normally not have enjoyed because I would have been thinking about where I had to go next.

I went to a friend's party and while I was there she commented that I looked tired and I was able to say not a bit just totally calm and relaxed for a change. I realize that life will happen again and chaos will ensue but for today I was able to claim victory over my hectic life and I made some awesome memories with my family.

Then to top off an already amazing day my modern day prince charming decided to join myself and our youngest for fireworks which he has never done before. We just sat there watching our youngest dance to the music and awe at the fireworks. Now I am sitting here and listening to the rain which is one of my favourite sounds.

I am going to go and enjoy a glass of wine, listen to the rain and savour my perfect day.

If you were given a brand new yacht, what would you name it?

Ghost Catcher

Ask me anything

If you could have an endless supply of any food, what would you get?

Steak the best cuts

Ask me anything

If you could go on vacation for the next month with an unlimited budget, where would you go?

Australia and explore every corner

Ask me anything

If you had to give up one favorite food, what would the most difficult?

Steak I would probably have a melt down

Ask me anything

What's the best gift you've ever given?

The gift of being able to open my door to all who need a place

Ask me anything

Get to know me better

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Memories are bittersweet

Had an awesome day visiting with my aunt today. I had the day off work so my youngest and I went off to my aunts for the day. It was a perfect relaxing visit and it reminded me of so many days long ago when life was not busy and I would spend hours with my aunt listening to her tales and advice.

As I sat there today listening to her stories while she painted my nails an awesome shade of blue I started to think about how if my mother was still alive this would have been her kind of perfect afternoon. Relaxing telling stories and tons of laughter. I also started to remember many lazy summer afternoons spent with my uncle many years ago before he passed.

As I said the memories are bittersweet they are great memories but the reminder that loved ones are long gone to never come again is very heartbreaking. I also realized as I watched my aunt today that my youngest will never get to have lazy summers with my mom or uncle they way I used to and the lessons that were learned.

My uncle truly believed that I was a princess and therefore should have the best. I remember shopping with him and picking up a pair of jeans that were identical to a pair I had seen earlier but these ones were cheaper. He refused to let me buy them I had to have the first pair simply because they were more expensive and I deserved them. He always took pride anytime he took me anywhere with him. It broke my heart in so many pieces that day that we lost him I was three months pregnant with my oldest and could not believe that he would not be here to welcome this new angel into the world. I was also a teenage mother and have always believed and always will that the news that I was pregnant broke his heart and caused him to have a heart attack. This is not news I share with many people but it is the way I feel and always will. He has come back many times over the years to reassure me that this is not the case (remember I believe in ghosts) but my heart has never healed.

My mother was blessed to welcome my two oldest angels into this world and they were here world.She would beam and she told people about her grandbabies.We lost her right before Christmas almost seventeen years ago. I remember I was christmas shopping and had this urge that I had to get home I wasn't even in the door 5 minutes when the call came that we had lost my mother. From her death I gained strength I didn't know that I had or needed. Her death gave me courage to leave my boy's father and this was a long time coming I just needed encouragement. I look back now on all the lost times we should have had together had I left my ex earlier. I also still want to call her on a daily basis. She has come back many times over the years sometimes for comfort, sometimes for strength and mostly to kick my butt.

I wish that all my children would have had the chance to get to know these awesome people and have amazing memories like I do. I also often wonder if my youngest will get to spend summers with my aunt the way I and his brothers did. She is getting older and although she is still healthy and active it is alot to handle an active little one.

Joys of driving

Well I am so loving blogging that I am using my break time at work to blog. Hopefully as time goes on my writing will get better and my topics will become more interesting.

I recently began driving to work and I was so busy just trying to get to work and get home that I was finding it stressful then I realized that I should take full advantage of my commute. I now crank the music whatever happens to be on my ITouch that morning and I found a new route it is a little longer but much nicer and the scenery is gorgeous. I didn't even know that we had such nice scenery in my town.

My drive is now much more relaxing and I am learning to love music that I had long forgotten about because much of what is on my ITouch is music that my young adult boys enjoy so that we have common ground to talk about when I am driving them from here to there. This morning I was blessed with listening to the Beatles I forgot how much I used to enjoy their music.

I am looking forward to what other surprises lie ahead on my ITouch. I will enjoy the next little while of nice driving weather so that hopefully when the winter weather hits I will have awesome memories to get me through the crappy drives that I am sure are ahead.

See I have always taken public transit to work and swore that driving would bring me no benefit but after just a few short weeks of driving I doubt I will take public transit again. It is so nice to not have to fight for a seat on the bus or have to listen to everyone else's conversations.

Name of my blog

I chose the name of my blog because I do truly believe in ghosts. Not the casper type that scare and haunt you but the type that are either helpful or mischevious.

There is a family ghost called Placid he has a habit of taking stuff and moving it or hiding it. I know it might seem strange but I have lived with him all of my life. He is currently picking on my son's girlfriend. Everytime she turns around something of hers has been moved.

I have also seen other spirits and they are always here to either comfort me or teach me a lesson. I have seen my mother more times than I can count since she passed away and it is normally about the time I need my butt kicked for one thing or another.

I have cousins who have also experienced the same thing so it seems to be a very common thing. As I talk to people I am amazed at how many people have either experienced something similar or at least believe.

I would love to hear other people's experiences.

Modern Day Prince Charming

I grew up with many wonderful magical relationships around me. I always assumed that once I got married that I would be with prince charming who would shower me with attention, gifts and we would be blissfully happy forever and ever.

Well I did marry my prince charming but he is not as perfect as I first thought and shockingly we have not always been blissfully happy. Jobs, children and life have not always been kind to our relationship.

I realized a little while ago that the problem was that the image I had was based on everyone else's opinion of a happy marriage or prince charming. Once I stepped back and shook my head of those notions I realized that I had a modern day prince charming. I get the occasional gift that I wasn't expecting but mostly I get a solid guy who is an awesome father, would die for me and thinks that the sun rises and sets on my head. So yes this is not everything I imagined but I think I am blessed that after 11 years of marriage we are still in love and I still get the occasional surprise gift.

Maybe I will be lucky and when the kids move and we retire I will have all of his attention and gifts but if not I will remember the good things and be thankful for all I have.

Ask me anything

Since I am new at blogging and not even sure if anyone will read or follow this. I thought I would let people ask me anything to get to know me better but also to help me with my blog

First Blog

I have never blogged, kept a journal or diary. My mother never believed in such things so I never did. I now wish that over the years I had kept journals or diaries there are so many things I would like to be able to remember in full.

So for the first time in my 30 some years I am now trying just that. I am hoping that people will comment and help me on how to blog if there is such a thing.

I would love to be able to look back and remember what is was like to be in love for the first time, how my heart healed from my first of many broken hearts. What it felt like to loose my friends over the years as life got busy and we all went in different directions. The joy I felt the first time I held my children, got married bought my first home these types of things.

I was so busy with always decluttering my home that I ended up decluttering my life of the many treasures I wish I still had to share with my husband and children.

This seems to be a year of growth and self discovery I am not sure where this journey will take me but for the first time in my life I am an open book and willing to see how I will grow and change. I am not normally an emotional person but this year I seem to always be close to my heart, dreams and memories