The life I wanted

I went for supper last night with my ex mother in law and then went back to her condo where I got to visit with a ton of the family that I have not seen in forever.

The life I envisioned as a little girl included a sister in law that I could laugh and cry with. Cousins for my children and in-laws that I loved and the best part we all live close enough to be in each others lives daily or at least weekly.

I do not miss the life I had with my ex he was bad news and I am very happy with my hubby and the life we have together but what I miss is that there is no sister in law or cousins. Also the fact that my in laws live so far away.

Near the end of my life with the ex his brother met and married an amazing women who had our pathes crossed in a different way would have become one of my cherised friends but alas that is not how things turned out. My ex and his family live on the same street and are blessed to see each other all the time.

Last night at the last minute I decided to go in and visit and there was Diana, Dege their youngest and my boys half brother. This is the go to house where life is safe and where things make sense.

You see my ex mother in law is one of the toughest women I know not only did she help build a business with the love of her life she also watched the love of her life be taken away by cancer. Instead of this causing her to withdraw from life she came out fighting for the business and her family. There are many layers to this woman and yes she has made a mountain of mistakes which she will admit to and then tell you to learn from her mistakes.

The one thing she does not regret is opening her home to her children, their spouses and their children. She will never know what it is like to sit on her couch and have peace and quiet but she will also never be alone.

I have been blessed over the years to have to her advice and I am privleged to still be considered part of the family. It was awesome yesterday to walk in and have hugs and stories all around.

I would love Ethan to have this type of connection. He has an awesome relationship with his grandparents but they live so far away that he can't just decide to go for the night and their will never be cousins for him. This blog has helped me to put things in perspective yes I did not get the life I envisioned but I got so much more.