Two weekends from hell

Well I know my husband well enough after 11 years that it shouldn't upset me when his depression gets ahold of him but these past two weekends has been hell. I don't know how couples go through months or years of this. Last weekened we were to go see Toy Story 3 on Ice as a family and he bailed at the last minute because his mood was too bad to cope. We had a great time but still I would love to have him there with us. This weekend he starts talking about what life is going to be like when I leave him or when he leaves. I know in my head that this is just the depression but in my heart it hurts like hell. I want to be the good and supportive wife but I had enough last night because this is not the first time in our marriage he has brought this up. I told him if he felt he had to leave there was the door and I would figure everything out. I so desperatley wanted him to hold me and tell me that he was just venting. Instead he got up and told me to give him time and space to process this information. I know that once he has a job and feels secure and that he is supporting us things will get better but I don't know how I am supposed to put up with this for the next three to six months. Right now I can't share good or bad news with him and I hate the fact that we can't spend time together. I had an awesome night planned for Friday night but he never showed up because he got distratcted, Saturday the same thing. Thankfully I have this blog to vent through

Lifes a rollercoaster

Well I haven't written for awhile because life has been happening at warp speed and I was trying to digest all the action so I could put it into words. This is my attempt.

My husband lost his job again and since he makes the lionshare of our income this makes it hard to manage financially. As I have stated before he also suffers from depression so this also gets added to the mix. I am constantly reminding him that it has only been a short time and he will find something but he is so discouraged that its making it hard for me to stay positive.

Our youngest has been sick for about a month with a respitory infection nothing serious but he does not like being sick and has become a mamas boy which I loved for the first week but now I would like some space to just sit and be by myself.

Then yesterday I found out that my oldest and his girlfriend are pregnant. They are 20 and he has his education and two jobs but she has very little education and very few job skills so I worry how they will handle this challenge. I was 18 when I had my oldest and I was able to raise him and his brothers but it was a struggle. I have to just remember that they have to make their own choices and be responsible for this new little one.

I think I would like off of this rollercoaster and go find the swan ride.