I realized this week that no matter how old our kids get we are always protective of them and our heart will always break when they are in trouble or their heart is breaking.
On Monday my oldest had an appointment that he had to go to and it was an hours drive. Right before we were to leave he had a full blown melt down and there was nothing I could do to soothe him or help. I had to just walk away as my 20 year child was trying to get control of his emotions. This is not an easy thing for him. He has a hard time navigating the world because our world is very different from the one he lives in. I was impressed that he was able to realize how important the meeting was and actually calm down enough to get in the car and go with me. The plus side is that by the time we got there he was able to have a conversation with me and listen to my advice for the next time this happens.
My son's world is black and white and literal. There are no shades and we are all supposed to remember verbatim what we said to him a minute, a day, a week, a month or more ago. Because most of us don't function this way he feels we are lying to him or picking on him. For the most part he holds it together and can function but when our two worlds collide he has a hard time coping.
I'm praying that as he grows and matures this will become less of a struggle for him because he is so smart and has such potential he just doesn't realize it and its so hard to show him and motivate him. It is heartbreaking to watch and unfortunatley when outsiders see this they think he is just disrespectful or a brat and its so hard to explain the situation.
I was (and still have tendencies) like your son.
ReplyDeleteBlack and white right and wrong and no in-betweens and lots of heartache and frustration because I couldn't make everything fit in those two categories. I've found lots of grey, but I still find myself getting a little bit stressed when I'm not taking time to see between the lines I've created in my mind.