A and The

It was just pointed out to me that everyone I introduce either has the word a or the in front of their name. The Andrea, The Dean, A Julie, The Corrie, The Barb that kind of thing. I didn't realize this until tonight and it is so true. Their is no rhyme or reason as to if someone gets an A or The.

I think it is interesting that we have these habits we do not even realize until it is pointed out to us. I can't tell you why I started or when but it is a fact and I think it is very interesting.

I wonder now what else I do that I am not even aware of.

Drinking games and not 16

Well last night I decided to bond with my children by playing a game called Ride The Bus this sounded innocent enough for a drinking game. All was fine until their friend showed up and then a war began between him and I and needless to say it did not end well for me.

Not being 16 anymore I apparently have lost the ability to remain on my bed when the spins happen and well next thing I knew I was leaping off the bed because in my condition this seemed like a lovely idea. The only problem was that I could not get back onto the bed so I remained on the floor last night.

I am proud to say that somehow this morning I am awake and not in rough shape but I have a feeling that the rough shape is around the corner and I have a party to host this evening with more drinking.

I have realized that I am not 16 and back to back parties are not a good idea. Oh well lesson learned for this time.

So much too say and so little time

I have so many things I want to blog about but since I only have two followers I don't want to bore you with the same stuff so I decided today instead since I have a short time to write this to tell you a funny story and it is all true.

Yesterday morning my mind and body did not want to go to work. You see they did not tell me this, they just got together and made this decision. So I am driving to work (so I thought) but I missed my turn to the highway no biggie I will go the long but relaxing way. Then as I am driving along the second route I missed the turn to get to work. At this point I am realizing that there are factors at work that have nothing to do with me conciously not wanting to be at work. I finally fooled my mind and body and made it to work.

Then I got to work and of course as it has been for the last few weeks chaos was all around me but my mind decided to get my emotions involved at this point and I was ready to quit for no paticular reason and had the sales manger not stopped me my mind and body would have won. Luckily for me my common sense showed up and stopped all the foolishness. I ended up having a great day and found my way home to a very sucky 5 year old. At this point I gave in to my mind and body and did nothing last night but snuggled and at his insistence that pizza can be ordered and delivered we did just that.

The highlight for him was that I only ordered enough pizza for the two of us and then we ate it in my room while watching tv. I guess it was a well needed rest for my mind and body who were conspiring against me all day.

I hope if this hasn't made you laugh then that it has at least put a smile on your face

Visiting the non existent

Five years ago for no reason given my cousin and his wife disowned myself, husband and children. Ours was always a relationship of him trying to have power and pulling many a guilt trip which I might add did not work. Although he is family and I do love him I must admit I have not missed the battles and other antics.

Today his mother asked me to please come to his 60th birthday. You see it breaks her heart that we no longer speak so she has to have two christmas', two thanksgivings', two birthdays. Well you get the point. I felt horrible a few years ago that he would not show for her birthday. You see I have tried to mend these fences more than once.

I am not sure what is bothering me more the fact that I don't miss him or our relationship or the fact that I am going against all I believe in by going to this party for him. I know it would break my aunt's heart if I do not at least keep trying but I figure when does he have to try. There will never be an explanation given and I also do not think that is fair I am supposed to just move on and start fresh.

Ethan has no idea who this man or his family is and my older boys don't want to know him anymore after what he has done by ignoring us for the last five years.

I guess in just a few short weeks we will see how this goes. I have already told my aunt that I will not stay if there are is any nastiness and that I can only stay for a few hours.

I hope that I am making the right decision.

Praise unexpected

I was reminded tonight that my son and his friends do truly appreciate the little things that I do for them. I don't do any of these for any sort of thanks or praise. I do them because I am able and I love having them in my house.

First tonight I went and picked up food for them they thanked me when I got back and even gave me gas money. Secondly Douglas' friend is moving to Italy in less then two weeks so he asked if he could have a going away party. This would mean me find accomadations for the night for myself, Ethan and my husband. I did this willingly because I can't imagine having my close friend move away. Tongiht Douglas and his friend both came to me and thanked me for making the party possible. They also assured me that they would respect my home and our neighbours.

I don't know what I am happier about the thanks that I got or the fact that they appreciate the little things. I am not going to dwell on which to enjoy I am just going to enjoy this moment and savour it.

Mom layers

I was just sitting here thinking that along with the fact that there is no manual for how to raise children they also don't tell you that motherhood has many layers. Maybe it is because I have such a huge age gap with my boys or the fact that all three are complete opposites of each other but i have had to delve into my layers a lot lateley.

Edward is the oldest and although he is not a bad kid he makes some really dumb decisions and is not very easily motivated. He has goals and dreams and the ability to reach them but zero motivation. So for him I have to be his cheerleader even for little things, I have to be his reason (hope he stops before making dumb decisions), his guardian and for him I need to be psychic so that I can know when I have a sliver of a chance for a deep conversation with him.

Douglas is the middle child and he is so much like me and the wild person I would love to have had the chance to be had I not been a mom so early. For him I am his guard to keep him in line, his sounding board, his nurse when he is too stubborn to listen to his body when he is sick or injured. With him I have also had to learn how to walk the fine line between parent with rules and parent with guidelines since he is so independent. Although he is wild in many ways he is also the responsible one a full time job and dreams of college.

Ethan is my youngest. I thought his brothers were a handful but Ethan can put both of them to shame. He tests my courage, patience, wisdom and confidence daily. He is so busy trying to be big like his brothers that he has some major attitude one minute then the next he is sunggling and telling me he loves me. He also has my husbands rigidness when it comes to routine and I fight routine with ever fibre in my body.

For all three of them I am also their rock, the safe one they can fight with and be horrible to when the world overwhelms them. It has taken me a long time to realize that being dumped on (of course respectfully) is a sign of a good parent. My kids feel safe to tests their limits with me because even if I don't change my mind or give in I will always love them and this will always be there home.

I have also learned to stop and smell the roses in a sense with my boys. The older two rarley tell me that they love me but if I stop and either listen to how they are with their friends or what they tell them about me then I get the praise and reassurance that I got some things right with me.

The other day Edward sent me a text telling me what a wonderful mom I am and that I should not worry about my parenting skills that I have given him all the tools he needs he just has to use them. This will be stored on my phone forever. It is one of those rare yeah moments for a mom with boys on the verge of manhood.

Perfect day

Today started as any normal crazy hectic Saturday in my house but as I prayed and mentally decided that I would savour today no matter what it brought I was amazed at how peaceful and stress free I felt today.

I had the usual bumps in the road my youngest yammering on about the same topic a million times and I completley over booked myself but yet I was able to find time to have breakfast out with my oldest and his girlfriend and have a quick but great visit with my heart sister and her kids. Both of these things I would normally not have enjoyed because I would have been thinking about where I had to go next.

I went to a friend's party and while I was there she commented that I looked tired and I was able to say not a bit just totally calm and relaxed for a change. I realize that life will happen again and chaos will ensue but for today I was able to claim victory over my hectic life and I made some awesome memories with my family.

Then to top off an already amazing day my modern day prince charming decided to join myself and our youngest for fireworks which he has never done before. We just sat there watching our youngest dance to the music and awe at the fireworks. Now I am sitting here and listening to the rain which is one of my favourite sounds.

I am going to go and enjoy a glass of wine, listen to the rain and savour my perfect day.